“Dear Mother”: Expectations for Motherhood in 19th Century England

 

“Dear Mother”: Expectations for Motherhood in 19^th Century England

A volume of The Children’s Friend, a monthly journal that started in 1824 with the goal of shaping God-fearing, good children in hopes they would grow up into model citizens, included a song “Kiss Me‒‒Good Night” in their January 1870 edition. The song is written from the perspective of a young child who tells his or her mother to give a kiss goodnight because for a better sleep. The song itself is short, but since this is a children’s magazine, it is perfect for its target audience. “Kiss Me‒‒Good Night” is written for a piano accompaniment, which perhaps means it was expected for the parent to play along while the child sings. These details can lead us to believe that not only children would read this magazine, but, especially in cases where children were too young to read, parents would often join in, too.

“Kiss Me‒‒Good Night” works to promote traditional family values. Using song form to do so, it helps children and, adults alike, remember and repeat these expectations. The song’s opening words are “Dear mother” which emphasizes the role of women being in charge all home and family matters (January 1, 1870 p. 24). Mothers were expected to ensure that their families would be good, Christian ones. The details of song’s lyrics and the fact that the magazine seems to encourage children to have someone help them read furthers the notion that mothers must be available for their children at all times. It emphasizes the role of the mother as a caretaker, the song has nothing to say about fathers.

The song makes sure that the child has said its “prayers” right before bedtime (January 1, 1870 p. 24). Since The Children’s Friend is a religious magazine, its inclusion of motherly love with saying one’s prayers helps engrave the idea that being a loving mother makes your children closer to God. It also links the love of God with the love of a mother. Moreover, it can also make the children think that in order to deserve a kiss from their mothers, they must finish their prayers.   

It is stated that the song was written in aid of the Alexandra Orphanage. On one hand, this can simply be viewed as a kind gesture to raise funds for an orphanage. On the other hand, we can see this as a way to try to end untraditional, non-idyllic types of home situations. Orphans broke the mold in which a proper British citizen should be raised. The song wishing to donate its profits to an orphanage shows the need to end this “improper” way of childrearing. Therefore, “Kiss Me‒‒Good Night” is more than a sweet lullaby‒‒it was a way to teach children and their mothers that the Christian way of life is proper, and it must be nourished.